Wanted: Witty, Animal-Loving Writer(s)

Thank you for responding to the Writer Wanted advertisement that reads:

Humor Writer Wanted (especially pet lovers):  

I’m looking for quick-witted humor writers to create funny photo captions, one-liners, and very short stories for my website, Puppies Are Prozac. “A dose of cute, funny animal photos to chase the grumpies away, paired with informative pet care articles that support the human-animal bond and responsible pet-ownership!” This is fun, part-time work that can be done from home, in your pajamas, with your beloved pet curled up at your feet. Compensation is paid as a freelance subcontractor (rather than as an employee) on a per post basis. I already have the photos — all I need are your witty words.

I am quite pleased with the number of pet-loving, funny folks who are interested in this fun project! But now comes the difficult part — selecting just a handful of witty writers. Here’s how I’d like to conduct the selection process:

1) Share with you a little more about what I want for this website
2) Conduct an audition
3) Obtain your bid for freelance writing

My Website Publication Goals:

• Publish three to ten cute and/or funny animal photos per day, accompanied with witty/silly/funny/cute post title and caption, riddle or short story. My goal for these frequent photo-posts is to entertain viewers and promote the human-animal bond in fun way.
• Publish at least two informative pet care article per week. These articles should promote responsible pet ownership.
• Feature homeless animals available from shelters and rescue organizations as professional photos become available (I’m working on pairing shelters with pro-photographers).

As the traffic to this site builds, I will donate a percentage of sponsored advertising revenue to non-profit animal rescue and welfare organizations.

Humor Writer Audition Instructions:

Write a post title and a funny one-liner (or short story) for a minimum of 5 out of the 10 audition photos listed below. Email them to Jen@puppiesareprozac.com.

1) Border Collie and Flatcoated Retriever

2) Goodbye Soldier and the cat

3) Kitten on laptop

4) Kitten and dog sniffing noses

5) Polar Bear and cub

6) Baby otter

7) Bear in tree

8 ) Dachshund puppy

9) Siberian Husky puppy

10) Hamster in cup

Freelance Writing Compensation Rates:

I will provide the photos, enter the post into WordPress, add SEO details and post categories, edit and publish to this website. The writer(s) will be responsible for providing the words (written post content) only. Along with your audition caption responses, please include a bid for each of the following:

1. Your package price for 50: Post titles and riddles or one-liners for 50 photos (see example: http://puppiesareprozac.com/doggy-economy/)
2. Package price for 50: Riddles or one-liners and relevant, interesting block quotes that link to the source (example: http://puppiesareprozac.com/what-do-you-call-a-fat-chimpanzee/)
3. Package price for 50: Riddles or one-liners and a relevant, briefly summarized and linked paragraph (example: http://puppiesareprozac.com/what-do-you-call-an-erroneous-pig/)
4. Funny short story to go along with 3 or more photos (example:http://puppiesareprozac.com/what-do-lazy-dogs-do-for-fun/)
5. Pet care article — 200 to 600 words (example:http://puppiesareprozac.com/pet-care-articles/ball-python-pet-care/). I will provide the accompanying photos, plus I can put the writer in touch with pet experts for a research interview if needed.

Please note: To maintain quality control, I will review submissions and buy only those that fit the intent and purpose of Puppies Are Prozac.

I look forward to your response! Please send to: jen@puppiesareprozac.com.

Thanks again for your interest,

Jen
—
Puppies Are Prozac

(photo credits: 1. Xanboozled 2. State Library of New South Wales collection 3. Daveblog 4. fazen 5. Just Being Myself 6. Loutron Glouton 7. Tambako the Jaguar 8. mommamia 9. Scott Kinmartin 10. digital_image_fan)